bloopers 101
January 7, 2007 – 6:19 amso enough with my catching up on stuff. i’m now back to the present.
due to some new turn of events, it looks like i’ll be stuck here in iloilo for a longer time than i expected. of course, i was not entirely surprised that things didn’t go the way i wanted them to go. but then again, when did things ever went the way i want them to be?! good thing i have a “survivor-let’s go to matches” back-up plan. 
my year didn’t exactly start in the right side of the bed. i was in shambles and lady fortuna has showered me with some extra-special “i will make you suffer” jokes. it was kind of hard going to the office because i’m now temporarily commuting to and from work, and walking some meters in 2-inch heels with both arms full of office wares isn’t exactly what you call heaven.
so there i was precariously balancing myself and just when i thought i was finally going to arrive at the office unscathed, i discovered that i was penniless. i had everything in my big paper bag: sweater, mug, spoon, even slippers but i was 3 pesos short of arriving to the office. three lousy pesos. i dug up my bag for some loose change and what i found were only 5-ten cents, 2-25 cents and 3 pesos. arrrgghh… oh wait, think… yes, i could withdraw some money from the atm… no my atm card was in my other wallet, along with the rest of my money. damn, can i get anymore pathetic and idiotic than this? i mean, i’m so ashamed and embarassed. i hate to admit that i even considered coming up to people and asking them for some money. the horrors! who would even give me a cent?! totally naive… hahahaha… shameless…
one good thing: i have with me my cellphone. i mean, imagine if i haven’t brought my cellphone? i will not even think about it as it makes me shudder. so then i called home and told them that i’d wait at atrium for them to bring me some money. and i sat there in front of mc donald’s, beside some lovey-dovey couple eating mc flurry. they were in their own world and i was in hell… arrrghh… seconds seemed days and i surreptiously avoid any eye contact with any breathing soul. finally, after about 15 minutes of waiting, my father arrived.
i expected to be late, considering that i was delayed for at least 30 minutes. but then, lady fortuna showed that she can be ironically funny. i was only a couple of minutes late. turned out that the office time was 17 minutes late than my time. good. another ironic twist in my less-than-exciting life.
if i have to a new year’s resolution (or a special goal) it would be that i will always try to explore new possibilities. i think that most of the time, i am inclined to be just content and prefer not to shake the boat. i will admit that i am mostly attracted to security and not take chances. i feel that if i could only be more willing to expore new situations then, my life would be a bit more interesting. i guess we have this innate nature of fearing the unknown. especially for me, i feel that i do not like to be put in unfamiliar situations. but i think that i am beginning to slowly adapt.
i’ll be starting driving school this monday. i’ve decided that if i wouldn’t force myself to learn how to drive, then i wouldn’t really learn. i guess all i need would be some practice; and ten sessions of driving might actually do it. at least i’ll be really forced to learn since i’ll be paying for it. then, after i learn, i can drive myself to and from work. wouldn’t it be convenient? ehehehe… at least the uncanny i-left-my-money incident wouldn’t be repeated. or wouldn’t it?! (crossing my fingers).
i just realized that i haven’t seen my friends this holidays. usually, i get to see them even for just a glimpse, but not this time. i think maybe, i just lack the energy to get my big ass off my bed or the couch or the tv. or it might be because i don’t want to see them because it will just remind me of the good times we had and how much i miss them. you’d think that it would be good but i know that after i see them i would then be thinking about them and how much i miss being with them and it would be too depressing because i know that i won’t see them again for some time. does that even make sense?
you might say that’s *&^!@ reasoning, but that’s just me, and i won’t argue anymore. you always hear of people who just focus all their energies at their work and shut out the whole world? well, think of me as almost halfway that point. at least my saving grace is that i’m still fighting to have some rembalnce of social life.
well, my hope to see them in the near future is diminished to a 1% possibility, my only option right now is to stick my butt to this 350 peso monobloc chair for at least another 4 or 5 months. but i’m also keeping my eyes open for some other opportunity. that is, if lady fortuna does not again throw another bombshell attack and decide to play another prank on me.
