hope dies last
December 15, 2006 – 6:18 amwhoa, rumors can really take a life of its own.
last time it was me and he-who-must-not-be-named that were supposedly having a “relationship”, it was really kind of funny because i was so clueless about the extent to which the rumor was circulating that almost all believed it. i don’t think that it even classified as a rumor since everyone believed it to be true. it was all wishful thinking though. and now that i think about it, it was probably one of the reasons why what little hope of something to be developing was squashed by the pressures and the baggage that the rumor brought about it.
i don’t know if that makes any sense. i consider myself to a fatalistic person even a little bit superstitious, and in my opinion, the rumor has somewhat jinxed the situation.
now, here comes another rumor. this is expecially critical as my life depends on it. well, at least my professional life, well-being and sanity.
i don;t want to name names, but as want i have expressed, i am currently pissed off at somebody. i don;t want, however, to show that somebody that what he has done has any effect on me. i will not give “it” the satisfaction. in my world, he does not exist. and if there is some inkling of his sorry existence, i will merely think of it as a horrible nightmare.
i am still hoping that somehow, fate will favor me this time. i’m hoping that somehow, i am meant to get this opportunity, not for any other personal reasons but for myself.
my fingers are crossed.
