6 More Steps for Further Self-Torture

October 2, 2008 – 11:43 pm
You may now have perfected the art of conversation. You are now an expert on multitasking. Your daydreams are in the makings of Steven Spielberg (you might even win an oscar). And you only occasionally drool whenever you see your beloved. But that isn’t enough for you. You still want to find other means to torture yourself. You want to bring thoughts of your adored one into other aspects of your life and devote yourself to their worship. To help yu along, here are 6 more suggestions to further your chivalrous quest: OTHER SELF-TORTURE: Step 1: Be a writer. Your adored one’s perfection should be expressed through narrative and poetry. If you haven’t started yet, you better get on writing page upon page of literature expounding their godlike perfection right now. For those who are involved in a long-distance unrequited love relationship, writing letters is another way of getting your adored one to notice ...

6 Rules – A Guide to Unrequited Love

September 30, 2008 – 11:39 pm
No need to be all in agony here. This is suppposed to be funny. Although suffering from unrequited love might be intensely painful and may leave you feeling like a well-used, battered rug, I say why not make lemonade out of lemons (and not the other way around)? Reminder to the ADORERS: For any relationship to work, the most essential thing is "communication". - A different set of rules is involved when you are in conversation with the love of your life - Don’t ever (never!) forget that every word your beloved one utters is IMPORTANT. Always remember to behave like every encounter with your adored one is a scene from a very romantic 5-hour love epic… Rule #1: Everything your beloved one says is very important. They are incapable of saying useless information so always watch out for even the tiniest tidbit of info you can get from them… from their (1) Personal ...

3 Fun Work Toys

September 23, 2008 – 2:54 pm
Here is a list of some fun office toys. These are perfect to spice up your mundane and boring office life; maybe even make that annoying co-worker tear his hair out. Use with caution. Will Return Clock This is the ultimate revenge to those people who one time or another made you rush to their office only "not" to find them in there. "Just post the Will Return Clock on your office door or near your cubicle. Anyone coming to meet you will see the sign and know you're out, and they will wait for your return based on the time posted. But then they will notice that the time displayed is right now, and you're not back yet." Price: $9.99 @ www.thinkgeek.com Annoy-a-tron "The Annoy-a-tron generates a short (but very annoying, hence the name) beep every few minutes. Your unsuspecting target will have a hard time 'timing' the location of the sound because the beeps will ...

And the World Stands Still

September 22, 2008 – 4:19 pm
This one is a product of one's unde- used brain... straight from my hollow head to my arthritic fingertips, no holds barred: And the world stands still When you have nothing to do The rain pours The streets slips Your eyes close Your heart beats, slowly And the world stands still Your butt aches Your eyes water Your back slouches Your neck stiffens, The ground shakes Still, the world stands still And you stand still with it

At the Office… Rhods

September 19, 2008 – 4:45 pm