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top 10 most awesomely BAD love songs… ever

in celebration of the valentines day, i will be listing some famous love songs that i would love to hate but love anyways… uh huh…

these songs are from vh1’s 40 most awesomely bad love songs countdown.

as cheesy and non-sensical as these love songs are, most people (including me!) actually love them… really, and these things really sell a lot of copies and albums. and then you can try singing these songs to your loved one, and expect to break-up, or kill each other.

10. I’ll Make Love To You – Boyz 2 Men

Uggghh… “And I’ll hold you tight, Baby all through the night”… gak! you’ll hold me tight through the night?! well then, he might actually be actually if the girl is alive in the morning as she might die of asphyxation!

9. Hold On To The Nights – Richard Marx

richard marx. even before you hear the first syllable to this song, you’d already know you’re in trouble. gag… hold on to the nights? what?! about?! morning?! don’t you know everything that’s bad happens during the night? vampires, zombies, wendigo, werevolves, and richard marx. he was probaly born at midnight.

8. I Need A Girl (Part 1) – P. Diddy and Usher

try singing this song to a girl. that said, i will say no more… wait! no! wife?! you sure you don’t want a baby-machine? a nanny? a maid? a cook?

7. Love Somebody – Rick Springfield

my head is spinning right now. “You’re undernourished and overfed. She’s got the teeth, she knows how to bite” hahahahaha…. hahahaha… can you imagine that this is a line froma love song?! yeah and you’ve got halitosis and i love you still.. blah blah…

6. Key Largo – Bertie Higgins

where the hell is “key largo’? what does it mean when you say key largo? is key largo somewhere like vegas or is in paris? hmmmm… i would have settled for timbuktu.

5. How Can We Be Lovers If We Can’t Be Friends? – Michael Bolton

if you’re not already puking from the sight of michael bolton, try singing this song… it’s like when a three-year old child decided to write a love song. the child of course, does have any clue what love is as he is still in his oedipusian stage and the only woman he fancies for now is his mother. so does this mean that the song is really intended for his mother? no, of course not… but that does not stop mr bolton of making this songs rhyme. amen.

4. Tonight I Celebrate My Love – Peabo Bryson & Roberta Flack

you celebrate birthdays, anniversaries, thanksgiving, christmas, new year, independence day, maybe even the day when you first got your nose job. but you can’t “celebrate” love…

3. I Adore Mi Amor – Color Me Badd

just because the song title is in spanish doesn’t make it romantic. the guy is saying to girl that he will not leave her “baby” even though the girl promises that she’ll love him better. what’s romantic about that?! if your boyfriend ever sings this song to you, would you love him even more? no! you egomaniac bastard…

2. Even The Nights Are Better – Air Supply

ahh… air supply… the ultimate creators of botched love songs. and when i mean ultimate these guys actually sell millions of copies of their songs. this song is one great example of how people in love resort to cheesy things when their “in love”. cheesy… what’s with love songs saying that nights are lonely? i, for one is always a happy person especially during the night. that’s when i get to relax, watch endless television and get sleep. it’s when all the good stuff happens…

before we get to number one, special citation goes out to: backstreet boys – as long as you love me, meatloaf – i woould do anything for love (but i won’t do that), k-ci and jojo – all my life. i’m sure you all have youre opinions about these songs. so it’s up to you!

and the number one most awesomely BAD love song EVER is: (tada!)

1. Truly – Lionel Ritchie

there are a thousand things that is totally wrong with this song. for one, i actually really like the song. ha! yes i really love like listening to lionel ritchie belt out “And forever, I will be your lover, And I know if you really care, I will always be there”… see? it actually really rhymes. and if you’re into it, here’s the lyrics so that we could sing along together (unfortunately, i couldn’t find a video for this):

Girl, tell me only this. That I have your heart. For always.And you, want me by your side.Whispering the words, I’ll always love you.And forever.I will be your lover.And I know if you really care.I will always be there. I need to tell you this. There’s no other love… like your love.

And I as long as I live. I’ll give you all the joy my heart and soul can give. Let me hold you. I need to have you near me. And I feel with you in my arms. This love will last forever.

Because I’m truly. Truly in love with you, girl. I’m truly.Head over heals with your love. I need you. And with your love I’m free. And truly. You know you’re alright with me.

i would said a lot of mean things about these songs, but unfortunately, i actually really like “some” of them, so i couldn’t really put my heart out to making fun of them. but then again, it might be because i’m on the verge of a sleepy coma, my lids are too heavy and most of my brain cells are asleep. next time (maybe), i might edit this and be more mean”ful”. okay?